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right kind of anger

The Power of the Right Kind of Anger

How do you get angry?

Do you let it build up and then blow up?

Smile through it? Common amongst women.

Do you clear your throat because you want to say something but find it hard to express what you truly feel and think?

These are all defences to anger. And at some point we’ve each experienced a defensive reaction in response to anger.

Now, let’s be fair to our defences. When they were initially formed their purpose was to protect us from being further hurt or overwhelmed either by a person, event or our own emotions.

But usually we end up having defensive reactions well past their initial need which end up hurting us.

Anger is a basic primary emotion and it’s important just like all the other emotions. It helps us to take action, speak up and make changes.

But anger is not aggression. People can often confuse the two which is part of the reason why some people find it hard to express anger: they associate it with a threat to their emotional or physical safety because of how anger was expressed, or not expressed, in their family home while growing up.

It’s challenging to feel into the intensity of our anger.

The power of truly feeling our anger is at the core of being able to feel into our passion, true identity and what we value and believe in. It’s acting on that and speaking from that place. 

Denying our anger is denying our identity, our voice, and passion for life. It is fuel for change.

So how do we feel into our anger? 

To feel our anger is to feel into the energy of anger. We need to sensations and the emotion itself.

We need to notice, feel and sense when anger arises, where it travels, where is expands and where and if it fizzles out. It means staying with anger and feeling into every bit of it.

You may notice that anger arises in your stomach, the solar plexus region. It may then expand into your chest and throat. Legs can also feel activated as can other parts of your body.

For some anger may stop in the throat and feel like it’s blocked which is why some people have the need to clear their throat. It helps them to manage this block.

Once we sense anger, the trick is not to try to get rid of it, push it out, scream it out, breathe it out vigorously or cry it out.

Although these tools can be helpful in managing anger they won’t help you learn how to purposefully use the energy of anger because the energy of anger would have dissipated. In other words, you would have lost fuel.

When we feel anger, the idea is to expand it into every part of our body. 

This  may seem initially counter-intuitive but when we use our whole body as a container for our emotions, rather than just one small portion of the body, it becomes easier to tolerate intense emotions and even stay with them for longer.

This approach is based on Integral Somatic Psychology developed by Dr Raja Selvam. I’m grateful for this training because it’s an accelerated approach to working with your emotions.

When we learn to expand our emotions, we notice that some situations don’t seem to affect us the way they one used to.

Initially, this expansion of anger, or any other emotion for that matter, positive or negative, can feel overwhelming. Essentially we are practicing gradual exposure to something which feels unpleasant or bad.

If you would like to learn more about this approach or even be guided through it to help you better experience and express your emotions, feel free to contact me and we can have a chat to see if this approach is right for you.

Remember, when we can be present in who we are we can truly be in our power and on purpose. Embodying our emotions will help us do just that. This is the way forward.

what is your story

What’s Your Story?

What is your story? Is it a past hurt? A long forgotten dream? Or an exciting idea?

When a story remains untold, we keep the doors locked on our true potential. Unless you share your story, you can never fully know yourself. Telling your story will give you strength and courage to step into your greatness and go for what you really want.

Because really, the sky’s the limit.

In each story there are metaphors, symbols, lessons and threads of wisdom that touch us in different ways. And that’s exactly what I hope my new podcast Empowered Conversations will do. Expand your thinking and inspire you to search for greater meaning and purpose in your life.

Join me every week as we unfold our stories through Empowered Conversations, with special guests who openly share a part of their story and journey.

Do you think that you could contribute to an Empowered Conversation? Or do you know someone who can? As a guest you’ll be able to:

  • Authentically share your personal journey and lessons learned
  • Be unscripted and open to the unknowns of where our conversation may take us
  • Share your knowledge and wisdom to inspire and uplift others on their journey

Contact me here if you’d like more information.

In the meantime, search for Empowered Conversations on your favourite podcast platform (or access via this link), subscribe and leave a review and you’ll be in the running to win 1 of 2 of my most popular online courses Master Your Emotions – Activate Your Brilliance worth $197. Two winners will be randomly drawn at the end of the month.

I’m looking forward to sharing the stories of my beautiful guests, who range from doctors to neuroscientists to small business owners. They all have an important message to share and I know that the energy of their words will inspire and uplift you.

share our story

Let’s share our story

Humans are hard-wired for connection and community. Since the beginning of time, sharing stories has been at the heart of our connection.

Everyone has a story and everyone’s story is worth sharing. When we share our story and speak from our core we are destined to impact and uplift those who need it most. It helps us to learn, to grow, to inspire and to embody our purpose.

Believe it or not, your story plays a bigger part in life than your realise. Don’t underestimate it.

My new podcast Empowered Conversations gives voice to these stories. And there are so many to share! Every week a new guest will join me in an honest and unscripted conversation about their journey, knowledge and share part of their story.

As part of the launch of Empowered Conversations, I’m giving two people access to my online course Master Your Emotions – Activate Your Brilliance worth $197 each. To be in the draw to win, all you need to do is subscribe and leave a review on your favourite podcast platform. Search for Empowered Conversations, or follow this link to listen to the first episode.

I can’t wait to hear what you think about Empowered Conversations.

Empowered Conversations

verb: empower: make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights.

noun: conversation: a talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged.

Having conversations, talking and listening is part of what I do everyday. I ask questions, challenge and explore with my clients. These conversations are not always easy, but are needed for growth and to live a more fulfilled life.

When our conversations become empowered we feel uplifted, motivated and inspired. We become more aware of ourselves and others and are open to opportunities and personal growth.

Through empowered conversations we embody our vision and can enact change.

Imagine what would it be like if you could listen in on an empowered conversation regularly? Now you can!

I’ve just launched my Empowered Conversations Podcast. On the podcast I speak to some incredible people who have embraced their journey, learnt some tough lessons and come out the other side empowered humans.

Listen in on our conversations as we take you on a journey of your own personal growth and self-discovery.  My special guests have been open and honest in sharing their story and I know that they will inspire you to live a fuller and more meaningful life.

I choose them to be on the podcast because they are remarkable individuals.

From doctors to neuroscientists to small business owners, they all have an important message to share.

In fact, we all have a story and everyone’s story is worth sharing.

When we share our story and speak from our core we are destined to impact and uplift those who need it most.

Sharing our story also helps us understand what is truly important to us, to refocus on our purpose and reaffirm our vision.

I believe that words carry vibrations and energy, so I’m sure you’ll find listening to these Empowered Conversations a positive and inspiring experience that will leave an impression on your own personal journey.

Join me every week as I chat to my special guests in an unscripted, Empowered Conversation. You can listen and subscribe to Empowered Conversations on your favourite platform here.

Where to from here?

This morning, on my way to school drop-off,  I noticed how ordinary life seemed: kids returning to school, parents chatting to each other, others heading to work, streets bustling with cars and cafes filling up with people again. Life appeared like everything was back to normal.

But while things may look much the same, they feel very different. Something has been effaced. The energy of how things were, is no longer.

Life seems stranger and more mysterious. There is nothing to grip onto, to get a handle on, so as to say “Aaah yes, this is how things are now”.

Our minds are trying to make sense so that we can get on with life.

But what got us here isn’t going to help us move forward anymore.

We are so used to making sense from the outside in. When we are met with something, we course-adjust using external guidepost. We look for answers on the outside.

Those willing to make sense from within will learn to adjust, adapt and trust the change. I can see this from my clients. Those willing to recognise and own their defenses have a much more solid ground to stand on during change.

We need to lean into the deepest part of ourselves to frame issues and our thinking right now

Berry Lieberman – Myths, Morals and Money Podcast

After school drop-off, I saw an acquaintance and we talked. Our conversation was different to our usual chit-chat.

We spoke about what we envisioned for the future and what was likely going to work and what wasn’t. We explored possibilities and in that very moment begun to weave a different kind of future. Having shared my vision with them, and vice-versa, something was imprinted deeper because that conversation took place.

It feels like the veil has been lifted and we are being asked to truly see the world with a fresh pair of eyes.

Knowing what we know but also being open to what we don’t know is how we can be available for change and embody the vision that we have for the world.

Vision and beliefs go hand in hand so we need to keep a check on our beliefs when we start to feel disempowered about the future so that we don’t sabotage our way to change.

We need to be available for that change through our willingness to engage and participate differently in life. We need to be willing to:

  • Ask questions we didn’t ask before.
  • Notice things we didn’t notice before.
  • Try things we would not have tried before.
  • Trust our intuition more often.
  • Listen to those we may have never listened to before.
  • Educate ourselves and read, read read!

So, be open to how things can happen and how they need to change. Most importantly have a vision for how you want to see the world.

Believe in that vision. Write about it. Talk about it with others including your family, friends, community, team and even acquaintances.

Through empowered conversations we embody our vision and enact change. 

P.S. I look forward to sharing with you Empowered Conversation Podcast, launching early June. I’m excited to bring you powerful knowledge, wisdom and tools from incredible people who’ve embraced their journey and learned tough lessons along the way to empower you to live your life fully. Stay tuned!